How to Get Over the Fear of Public Speaking

Doug Staneart  |  10/15/22
last updated

How to Get Over the Fear of Public Speaking Are you a nervous public speaker? A majority of the population has some type of fear of public speaking. Ironically, a great deal of this nervousness or anxiety comes from well-meaning friends or coworkers who are just trying to help.

When we see a friend struggling, we naturally want to help. So, we might offer a little constructive criticism as a way to help a new presenter improve his/her public speaking. However, these “helpful” pieces of advice can actually have an extremely negative effect.

This session shows how constructive criticism can actually cause public speaking fear. We’ll also cover a few ways to reduce this nervousness when we coach or mentor a nervous speaker.

Public Speaking Fear is Normal.

Public speaking is not unlike any other new skill we try to develop. When we try to speak in front of a group for the first time, every one of us will be nervous. The first time you rode a bicycle, you probably felt a little anxiety. You probably were also a little timid when you operated a computer for the first time. Remember the first time you drove a car on the freeway? You probably felt very nervous.

Each of these experiences has a risk of danger. So, the first time that we try them, we experience fear. Speaking in front of a group is no different. The first time that we do it, there is a risk of failure or embarrassment. The good news, though, is that with experience and a series of successes, your nervousness in each of these areas went down. Your fear of public speaking will also decrease if you follow the guide below.

Fear of Public Speaking Statistics (Glossophobia)

Public Speaking Fear Statistics So, how pervasive is glossophobia (the fear of public speaking)? Are there any true fear of public speaking statistics that can be cited? The woman who trained me to be a public speaking coach told me that 95% of people experience public speaking fear. Since she had so much more experience than I, I took her word for it. However, I never asked asked her where that statistic came from.

In my experience, I’ve come across studies ranging from a high of 95% down to 7% of the population.

The range is hugely based on the type of nervousness the study is tracking. For instance, Peter Khoury, a public speaking coach, wrote an article called 7 Unbelievable “Fear of Public Speaking” Statistics. He states that an average of about 7% of the population has a social anxiety related to public speaking.

I agree with Khoury. The number of people who have a fear large enough to be called a phobia is quite small. Interestingly, though, Khoury calculated that percentage versus the population of the US. He estimated that 27 million Americans have a fear of presenting so great that psychologists would call it a phobia.

On the other extreme, Statistic Brain conducted a survey where 74% of respondents said they get nervous speaking.

The huge difference between these two surveys, though, is what they measured. One measured the number of people with a phobia. The other just measured nervousness.

Nick Morgan explained it well in his Forbes article entitled Why We Fear Public Speaking And How To Overcome It. Morgan says that about 10% of the population loves speaking in front of people. In fact, they thrive on it. About 10% are terrified of it. And the remaining 80% of us fall somewhere in the middle.

Where does the fear come from?

Any time we try something new and have what we consider to be a success, we gain confidence in that skill. Any time we try something new and feel like we failed, we diminish confidence.

Think about learning to speak in front of a group like the process that we use when we learn to ride a bicycle. A kid hops on a bicycle, rides for a few yards, then falls over. Then, Mom or Dad, usually says something like, “Look how far you rode! Let’s see if you can go farther next time!”

They don’t say, “You did good. However, toward the end there, you really tapered off. You should probably keep pedaling a little longer. Also, make sure you keep a firm grip on the handlebars. And oh yeah, by the way, you looked a little shaky. So, keep your posture upright so you can have better control of the bike.”

However, that’s the way most friends and coworkers coach speakers. We tell the speaker something good. But then we follow up with either a BUT or a HOWEVER. What that tells the speaker is, “What I just told you was just to make you feel better. But here is how you really did.”

According to an article titled Anxiety, Criticism, and Conquering Self-Doubt written by Tanya Peterson, “The criticism isn’t the source of our discomfort. Anxiety and self-doubt arise because of how we interpret the criticism.”

Both Fear and Confidence Come from the Same Place. (How We Handle Constructive Criticism.)

“I like constructive criticism from smart people.” — Prince

A seasoned presenter will be able to accept this type of coaching more positively. He or she may not like the criticism. But the seasoned speaker will likely have enough successes under her belt to use the criticism as a corrective device.

The same constructive criticism will likely reduce the confidence of a new speaker, though.

This happened to me when I took a business communications class in college. My entire grade was based on the scores I received on three presentations. I did pretty well on the first one and got a 94%.

However, after I spoke, the graduate assistant who was teaching the class gave me constructive criticism. She told me that I said “Uhm” seven times throughout the speech. When I prepared for the next presentation, I spent more of my practice time focusing on not saying “Uhm.” I spent less time focusing on the actual presentation. My grade went down on this presentation, and I got an 84% on it. I said “Uhm” 14 times.

For the third presentation, I got a 74%.

“Is constructive criticism really constructive? Not really. You can’t make a child better by pointing out what you think is wrong with him or her. Criticism either crushes the spirit or elicits defensiveness.

This is actually a very common challenge. After I finished the third presentation, my confidence was pretty low. From my experience, every time I gave a presentation… I got worse! Consequently, three months later, I gave the presentation that I told you all about in podcast #1 (10 Ways to Eliminate Public Speaking Fear) where I totally bombed my first professional, business presentation.

Four Interpretations of Criticism that Can Actually Cause Presentation Nervousness.

Four Interpretations of Criticism that Can Actually Cause Presentation Nervousness Peterson also identified the following four ways of interpreting criticism that can have negative affects on our self-confidence. (Quoted from Anxiety, Criticism, and Conquering Self-Doubt.)

  • All-or-nothing thinking: Also called black-or-white thinking; this thinking pattern contributes to perfectionism and thus anxiety and self-doubt. With this, if performance isn’t perfect, it’s worthless.
  • Overgeneralization: People with social anxiety and fear of criticism often take one critical comment and equate it with complete and total failure. Self-doubt comes from not separating criticism from positive feedback.
  • Jumping to conclusions/mind reading: Social anxiety makes us, consciously or subconsciously, watch people for nonverbal communication of critical opinions. We mind-read, assuming that someone is inwardly critical of us.
  • Discounting the positive: This is “yes-butting.” Someone might be giving us positive feedback, but we dismiss it with self-doubt, believing we’re really not worthy of the praise. Or we ignore all positive comments and instead dwell on that one criticism we received.”

How Negative Comments are Perceived by a Nervous Speaker

Constructive criticism in public speaking usually sounds like the following:

  • Slow down (You talk so fast that people can’t understand you.)
  • Speak up (You timid little person… We can’t hear you.)
  • Stand up straighter (We can all see that you are not confident enough to present well.)
  • Take your hands off the lectern (We want to be able to see your hands shake.)

And there are dozens more. Just remember that when someone is trying something new, you never want to criticism them. Look for the positive. Identify their strengths. Then, help them build on these strengths. Save the critiques for a time when the speaker has a few successes under his or her belt.

The analogy that I like to use here is to think of the person’s confidence as a bank account. Every time the person has a success in the new skill, he or she is making a deposit into the bank account. Every time the person has a negative experience, some of the balance is withdrawn.

The challenging thing with these deposits is that it takes a bunch of them to make up for a single withdrawal. That is why so many speakers look for help from an expert. A good coach can minimize the chance of failure. You see, if the person can have a series of successes in a row, then an occasional hiccup doesn’t destroy the confidence.

The Best Way to Coach a New Speaker

Just remember, the best type of coaching you can give a new speaker is to tell them they look natural and confident. (If that is a stretch, tell them how much courage they have.) Let them get comfortable speaking a few times. They need to experience a few successes in front of a group.

As they experience these successes, a lot of the menial nervous ticks and symptoms will start to diminish. Your trust as the speaker’s coach will grow. Once the new speaker’s confidence grows, then you can begin to offer a few constructive comments. But do this just a little at a time.

Wait for the balance in that bank account to be high before you start to make withdrawals.

How One of the Best Public Speaking Coaches in the World Helped Me Conquer My Public Speaking Fear.

In my first year in the training industry, my boss asked me and a coworker to help him on a project. We created a presentation for the company’s annual convention. The day before the convention, the three of us met to practice. Oddly, my boss had my coworker and me practicing parts of the presentation with him. (He would do it, then he’d ask each of us to do it.) After working with us for a couple of hours, he said, “I think you are ready.”

My coworker and I looked at each other and then at him and said, “Ready for what?”

“Well, to give the presentation, obviously.”

We were confused, but that was his plan all along. He worked with us for hours until we were flawless. And he never let on that it was actually us preparing and not him. We didn’t have weeks to think about what we’d say or how we’d say it. We just developed a great presentation.

The next morning, we were standing at the front of the room as hundreds and hundreds of people came in to hear us speak. Now, keep in mind that the audience was comprised entirely of professional public speaking coaches. The two of us at the front of the room were the absolute least experienced people in the room. So, as the time got closer and closer to when we’d start, my nervousness kept getting higher and higher. (I really just wanted to run from the room.)

However, as I started speaking, my preparation took over. I got right into interesting information, and my natural energy kicked in. The experience was so much fun. I was hooked. I had moved from being a shy and nervous speaker to a professional motivational speaker in a matter of minutes.

The Moral of the Story

The moral of the story is, if you are a nervous public speaker, hire 10 professional speaking coaches to sit in the front row of your first big speech. Since most of us can’t do that, though, a class with a single professional coach and about nine other speakers who will give you encouragement will do. That is what people experience when they attend the two-day Fearless Presentations ® class! A list of upcoming classes is in the sidebar to the right! We’d really like for you to attend one of these upcoming classes!

author Doug Staneart
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